Showing posts with label Rhymelicks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rhymelicks. Show all posts

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Gahhhh! The Dreaded Poetry Recitation

Can you imagine how traumatising doing this
 before a crowd can be ?
Image Courtesy: Google God
I hated poems in school. In the 1980s, we had to learn them "by heart", to quote my mother (she even has a highly ignominious audio cassette recording of me singing them, that she routinely threatens to make public, whenever I disobey her). And recite them on demand in the presence of random relatives. With actions. So it wasn't just recitation. It was performance on cue. And we earned applause and sometimes, even Rs.11.

The only one I really loved back then, was Okee-Pokee-Crack-Me-Crown which is now banned from textbooks for being politically incorrect (that corroborates my natural inclination); I cannot even trace that  very original, truly gifted poet.

In the 1990s, it got worse. We were expected to understand the depth of poems (in English, Hindi and Marathi). For most part, these *profound* poems triggered uncontrollable mirth and hysteria in my best friend and me. There were also inter-class recitation competitions. Where we girls sang in chorus, standing upright with the convent school patented 'recitation clasp'.

Suffice to say, poetry was never our thing, though we were voracious consumers of prose. After Class 12, I had gladly and safely put all that was verse behind me.

But then 6 years ago, I became a mother. One that consciously tried to be very unlike my own mother. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star was the only poem I taught Vi. With actions.

She had to go to school, eventually.
And I was so glad that these new-age, contemporary school curricula did not expect kids to learn poems by rote. No Jack and Jills,  No Humpty Dumpties. I was never going to put my daughter through that trauma. There were some really weird ones they were taught in their school- Like Swallowed a peanut and Fruit Salad (*WHAT* did I just hear?!?!?! Bring back the 80s!!!). But it was never the mother's headache to make the kids "learn them, by heart". There weren't any 'oral' exams (No, not dental appointments, or any other twisted ideas that you might have had. I am talking of the colloquial school term for 'viva voce' examinations).

Or so I thought, until 10 days ago Vi handed me a circular which said 'Poetry Recitation Competition': Topic- Seasons of the Year. Ah, yes, of course! We are in the 1st Standard now. The competitions and exams have begun.

My heart sank. I procrastinated. The competition is tomorrow. Last night, I began the frantic Google and Youtube search. And hated everything I saw/ read. But I was a mother now. This did not become of me. It was 12:00 noon on the Sunday and I had to Do the Dew.  I grabbed the pen, and jotted this down. A little over 5 minutes and I was patting myself on the back. Indeed, Darr ke Aage Jeet Hai! After all how many primary school level poems can you find online that include our good old Indian monsoon as one of the seasons?

So here it is-

The Seasons of India
- By U. R. S. Trullie

Every season of the year,
Is always an interesting thing.

We start with blossoms, butterflies, birds,
In the season, we call Spring.

Spring is followed, 
By the Summer so hot,

When caps  and hats
are used a lot.

In India, 
Monsoon follows Summer,

With rains and festivals, 
bring on the drummer!

After the lush Rainy green, 
Is the cozy Autumn yellow,

With gently falling leaves, 
And weather that is so mellow.

Finally arrive 
The Wintery days,

Pull up your blankets; 
It is time to laze.

The seasons repeat every year.
Stay happy, healthy and full of cheer!

The kid is satisfied and has managed to memorise it. She refuses to do any 'actions'. I don't blame her. It is embarrassing enough for her to see me attempt to gesticulate to the very geeky, squeaky clean lyrics.

UPDATE: Results came out on Friday, 14th Aug '15. And no, Vi didn't get a certificate. She had to be prompted more than once, and she did not perform any actions.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Dawa nahi, Dua ki zaroorat hai!

Kya aap ke masoodon mein dard aur daanton mein peelapan hai?
Kya aap ki toothpaste mein nimboo aur namak hai???

Toh Aap ki Condition badi serious hai!  Aap ko Dawa ki nahi, Dua ki zaroorat hai!

Santoor wali "Mummy" whose motherhood is an incredible shock!
The Fair and lovely girls for whom job interviews rock!

The mall-going Dove-ly lady who uses Dove on half her face,
The detergent-scrubbing Ma whose whiter sarees and whitest chaddies are her saving grace.

The hunks with deos and the attention they gain,
That lazy husband who rubs balm for his poor working wife's pain.

The weird women acrobatics on TVS Bikes,
The muddy and yucky Acche Daag-wale tikes.

The Mountain Dew dares,
and the Cadbury Gems bears,

The toilet cleaner details aired during dinner,
The smug Bournvita brat who is always a winner.

The cheesy perfect man created by Raymond,
That greasy, smelly baby oil made of almond,

Those shady looking fund advisors eyeing for our money
Airtel's thumping, humping Honey-bunny,

Vodafone ke ajeeb se Zoo-zoo,
Kayamchurna bajae har savere Poo-poo

Rameshhhhhhhhhhh... Sureshhhhhhhhhh...Maheshhhh...!
Jaldi doctorji, masterji, vaidji, kisi ko bhi bulao! In sab ki haalat bahut kharaab hai! Waakei mein #Conditionserioushai
Ghar girvi rakho... gehne becho! 20 lakh bharo aur jald se jald inka ilaaj karvao! Warna is desh ki patloon 2 bilaand chhoti ho jaegi!

(P.S.- There was one *unbelievable* ad, where a guy wears the same pair of jeans through the week, and only on date night sprays deo *INTO* his pants!
And Nooooooo... I cannot recollect whether it was an ad for deos or denims...But I can pretty much imagine that guy's condition had to be serious... The unshot part of the ad probably involved him hopping on one foot, while grabbing his crotch and howling in pain!)

(P.P.S- This is an entry for a contest hosted by Indiblogger - details of which are here )



Thursday, August 1, 2013

Brownin' Inferno

The furious frown
of the renowned Dan Brown
as he prowled
like a scowling owl
in his night gown,
Pacing up and down,
His 10 million $ mansion,
In palpable tension,
Hoping to receive a kindly mention
From this scheming critic...
And that vile sceptic...
Or maybe the literati journo...
For his beloved newest born,
The Inferno!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Vi turns 6 months

Rolls, and tumbles, turns and twists,
Dimples, gurgles and curled up fists,

Knocking off glasses, plucking out hair,
Little acts of terror, done with flair

Kicking desperately, attempts to crawl
Screaming temper- a warning for all,

I am not your regular achha-bachcha girl,
I've got a fiery personality; soon to unfurl

I like to be cuddled, but won't lie in your lap
Carry me upright, and remove this silly cap

Bumpy car-rides are cherry on cake,
I'll follow the lights,
MY wobbly neck is "YOUR" headache!

Can I scratch off that moon?
Can I eat out of your spoon?
Exciting things to discover
Want to grow-up real soon!

My mom can't write poems
but I can see her try
I'll read when I am older,
As months and years fly by.

(Wrote the draft on 15th Feb '10; posted on FB notes)