Friday, March 21, 2014

Why The Food!

I saw 'Queen' last Monday... and before that I had seen 'English Vinglish' . And once more the demure and dumped/ distressed desi damsels on screen found their liberation and salvation in developed countries when their beyond extraordinary culinary skills were appreciated by the white guys and NRIs. 

And I thought WTF? Why? Why the food? Always! Why?

I don't like eating. There are those who live to eat, and those who eat to live. I belong, without a shred of self-doubt or existential guilt, to the latter. (OK, so I gorge on sweet stuff when I am in a foul mood, and I suffer from chronic acidity which means I have to chomp on something every 3-4 hours, to prevent debilitating headaches followed by puking. Grossssss, yes!) 

SACRILEGE!!!

Food is GOD! It is a Privilege! it is the benchmark of cultures; it is the discovery and reinforcement of social bonds... Yes, yes, I agree! I agree!.. and I do not contest any of the points above. But I don't enjoy food.

And then there's also cooking... and I *HATE* cooking!!! OK, so that was perhaps too strong a word... But I deeply resent it! Yes, it's a life-skill. People have made careers of it (bloody rich, glamourous ones at that !) . I find it agonising and dreadful and stressful!

I look at awe with people who cook with this zen-like look of bliss, as they prepare and knead and caress the  ingredients and toss them together and give the whole thing a 'perfect jiggle' (if you know what I mean!). And that orgasmic moaning as they savour the first morsel.




















I learned to cook, in those early days of romance, when you want to do everything that your spouse loves. (He loves food... and he cooks with abandon! Which also mean he makes an almighty mess in the kitchen, that he conveniently forgets to clean). I learned it like I studied Civics and Biology in school. And accomplished it daily like the time-sheets and appraisal forms I filled in office. Efficiently, competently and competitively. With an equally zen-like detachment! And now I cook for daughter. Cutesy-looking variants of healthy kid-friendly recipes. And I share them with other moms who appreciate it and ask. But still, cooking has never been able to arouse a passion in me, neither have the compliments/ complaints I received.

(Look below at the pics of  some fancy stuff I made for the kid. I click these pics because the daughter is a bit of a show off who likes to discuss with friends and neighbours what she ate... ! Wonder who she gets it from?!  :P )




Left to myself, I will simply put dal, rice, and chunks of vegetable into a cooker with some spices and salt, and 3 whistles later be done with. I will probably even eat from the cooker. Breakfast and evening tea would probably be supported by bananas, chickoos, chivda and tea (... ahh yes! That's a chink in the armour... I love making  my own aromatic, masale-daar, creamy TEA!). I have no recipe books on my otherwise over-crowded shelf. The one my mom gave me is safely packed away in a trunk with other sentimental souvenirs.

So here I am, now wondering why is the world is suddenly going for everything food? THink about it- if God wanted us to cook, why would she have trees all round us laden with fresh fruit? Think some more. Why should we spend cooking something for hours that will exit our system in a matter of minutes the next morning? Where is the 'productivity'?

Travel channels are now 70% food channels. Social media is flooded with food pics. Restaurants are popping up at every corner of the street. I am surrounded by friends and family who cannot think beyond food... the newest epicurean experiments, the most 'in' cuisines, the fanciest restaurants. I, for most parts, sit through all this like that laconic last-bencher in school, feeling dumb and numb and wondering what is wrong with me that I am completely missing the point here. Feeling like tossing bits of chalk and pellets of paper at the teacher and the front-benchers.

Somebody help!






11 comments:

  1. I dont think u have a problem.its general like and dislikes.so there's nothing wrong with u.regarding food abroad wht thy showwd in engligh vinglish or queen is an indian man perception about how a Indian woman gets liberated. there is no perception like tht in abroad countries.in fact some scenes from queen dnt happen in abroad countries so dnt go by d movies to makke aaa decision.d good side is d media helps tap the culinary instinct in every indian women.u who dnt love cooking also have been made to have a after thought.all said the underlying msg is if u dnt love it its perfectly fine :) gauri

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    1. I don't think I have a problem either... everyone else makes me feel I have a problem! And you are right- it made me have an after-thought too.

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  2. Well to my life's experience with cooking, it started with the brightest idea that we could coexist well if we have food peparation turrns among housemates. Eventually to the demise of the activity everybody expected their mom's cooking and not that of other house mates. A complicated experiment in cooking goes unappreciated while simple fried potatoes seemed the most palate pleasing food. This is all guys an had no female housemates then. Ok lets take up the meal cooking experiments with girl friends. The appreciation was more and so the reward if cooking was demonstrated. Somehow even a harly palatable rock like bread/chapathi/naan...did the magic. The cooking instruction in my home started when we were 13-14 years old. So mum showed all the measurements on her hand no spoons no spatulas etc..This is how amount of spices, herbs, salt and pepper were mastered. Sometimes we found dad was a better cook since he cooked less often and addded more sweets. Now in all these i never developed a preference for food. Ok all chnages in Mumbai. We had meal coupons or sodexho vouchers. So all folks in the team who are foodies though i wasn't eating at all. So they forced me to eat some good stuff including street food. I love the guys for this. They got me liking food. This group is a potent mix of bengalis, goans, gujarathis who all semed to love food. Then this odd liking to some international foods incluing polish beetroot soup, german schnitzels, english pies, spanish salmorejo (creamy tomato sauce). All taste nice after they have been cooked. Poor cooks!!!

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    1. Hey Ram! You blog too! Why don't you promote it?! I intend to start a UX blog soon. Wanna partner?

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  3. And about men cooking... I've always been in the company who men who can cook well. My grand-dad would cook love snacky items for us kids, my dad can cook a decent full dal-chawal-roti-sabzi-salad meal, and I have a male cousin who can bake better cakes, than anyone anywhere! Plus Sam loves cooking Tandoor, and Chinese, and Pastas and PIzzas.
    So even more the angst! People who *LOVE* cooking aren't doing it regularly enough. And those who don't, are cooking day in and day out!

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  4. hehe even my dad is a great cook and even now when he comes to visit he prepares a meal or two.now very frankly I love cooking. I work live abroad whr getting a maid is next to impossible and have a 4 year old who keeps me on my toes.however I love cooking. for me its a creative vent, a stress buster.and I am a feeder even everyone at my workplace tells me tht. for me the good food ( boasting but I know I cook well ;)) that lightens my better half or sons mood makes me happy.my son even knows to cook.he makes cookies, jellies and generally we both spend good time together in kitchen making something almost every weekend and I love tht time I spend with him :) very frankly speaking people keep having opinion abt everything dnt let tht affect u.in fact b proud tht everyday u put extra effort to do something u dnt like for ur family and if u ask me make thm realise it ;)

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    1. I envy you, feeders! It comes to you so effortlessly and naturally! My hubby is one too. :D

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    2. Th word 'feeders' reminds me of a personae that I had to create for a organic baby food company. Personae of mum with kids and feeding bahaviors:) The hardest assigment ever, eventhough I had some end-user interviews and the best advise from people who have had kids. Reading every article on MumsNet, role playing in my head being a mom.

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  5. I have a ux blog proposition. Let me send it via Facebook message. This is in relation to my current venture.

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  6. Well, ask me to cook and I definitely wont. Also my cook gets extremely offended if i try to cook because she feels I am trespassing and trying to capture her territory so I stay away from it unless i want to try something weird like the spleen and eye ball pudding (remember?) I suck with cakes. Totally. I just never get them correct. The only thing I cook delicately is the Sunday pasta for Ris dinner because he loves it. :)

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    1. LOL! YEs Spleen and eye-balls was fab! :D
      Can you send your cook over... ? OR does she have a sister or daughter who can come to Mumbai? I need someone like that (desperately!)

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